Tweenager anyone?

A Tweenager or Two

The term tweenager is all new to me. I thought I had made it up, like the word joggage but no I found out it is actually a real word.

Definition:   child of approximately eight to fourteen years of age according to the Collins English dictionary.

Great that means I have a pair of Tweens!  How am I going to cope?

The youngest tween (Legs) is eight.  I would say he is the hardest one to cope with.  Throwing tantrums, shouting and generally being horrid. Legs favourite coping mechanisms seems to be growling, shouting and slamming doors.  Not eating and not sleeping .  Such Fun!

Moe is eleven and actually is very sensitive and caring and in the next breath could be so stroppy and arm swinging in fact much like Harry Enfields ‘Kevin’.   Moe’s talks louder and faster the angrier or excited he gets.

It’s going to be difficult as both  are very spoilt but I need to reign them in before they are bigger than me.  I need the control.

Both boys are fully IT literate, via IPads, IPhones, laptops etc.   Which is great if I want some peace and quiet but my problems come when I unplug them!  Especially the youngest I am sure he thinks he belongs in the Matrix.

So now I have my tweens what am I supposed to do with them?

Slightly disappointed as no handbook came with them so its a sort of trial and error process.  Are both boys going through hormone surges, possibly and they both seem to be getting taller by the day.  But it seems to me that by this time in your child’s lives, health visitors have disappeared and the only source of information is other parents who are going through or have already been through this stage.

I know I was a bitch when I hit about sixteen (maybe I still am)  but I can’t remember before this. Selective memory. I believe this is called.  I know I was horrible to my sisters as they constantly remind me so this must be normal.  One minute the boys want to do things together and the next they can’t stand the sight of each other.

Moe is now at Secondary school which is an all boys school.  My husband finds it slightly odd but there has always been a girls school and a boys school here and I understand that soon (been waiting 7 years so far) there will be a mixed secondary school.  Moe seems to be getting on really well at the School and I believe that their SEN team are working very hard to give Moe the help he needs.  His Christmas report was amazing for a boy with Dyslexia he was hitting or should I actually say smashing his predicted marks already.  Science he was getting a level 5.  I am very proud of him.

What comes next?

They Strop – waving arms, stomping round, slamming doors.

They Irritate – back chatting, bitching, telling tales.

They Smell – oh the Onion Smelling kid smell is enough to turn the hardiest of stomach.  Lanky hair.

Then there are the Girls – I thought this would be a while off but yes already. Mum, I think I have a girlfriend!

So cupboards are stocked with deodorants, shower gel, shampoo.  Hot chocolate and marshmallows for our chats.

I just need a straight jacket and maybe some Valium.

Thank you  for taking your time to read my blog. If  you have any advice on issues or coping strategies for  looking after our tweenage kids as they hit epic  hormone levels please leave your comments below and maybe we can make our own handbook.